Alright, alright, let’s gab about this Ryan Gosling fella and that Barbie movie. I ain’t never seen a doll movie before, but folks are makin’ a big fuss, so I figured I’d chime in.
Ryan Gosling, that’s the name they keep sayin’. He’s playin’ some fella named Ken. Now, I seen some pictures, and this Ken ain’t wearin’ much of nothin’, just a li’l vest and some pants. Seems like all the women are goin’ gaga over him. He’s all tanned up and got that blond hair, lookin’ like one of them store mannequins. They say he’s shirtless in the picture, and I guess that’s what all the hoopla’s about. He’s got a six-pack or somethin’, they say. Back in my day, men worked hard and got their muscles that way, not posin’ for pictures.
This Barbie movie, they say it’s a big deal. This Margot Robbie girl is Barbie, and this Ryan fella is her Ken. They paid him a whole bunch of money for it, too! Millions and millions, I hear. Enough to buy a whole farm, and then some! Imagine that, gettin’ paid all that just to pretend to be a doll. He must be doin’ somethin’ right, I guess.
Folks are sayin’ he took some time off before this movie. Said he wanted to be with his family and them kids. That’s good, I say. Family’s important. But then he comes back and plays a doll? I don’t get it, but hey, it ain’t my business.
- He’s tanned up good, like he’s been workin’ in the fields all day, but I reckon it’s just for the movie.
- He’s got that blond hair, all slicked back. Reminds me of that Elvis fella, only not as much hair, I guess.
- And that vest, denim they call it. My grandson has one just like it, only his ain’t got no holes in it.
They released the picture on June 15th, Warner Brothers, that’s the company makin’ the movie. Folks went wild, I tell ya. All over the internet, they was talkin’ about it. Ryan this, Ken that. It was like nothin’ else mattered in the world. And then they had a music video too, just about Ken! Can you believe it? A whole song about a doll’s boyfriend! “Just Ken” they call it. Catchy tune, I’ll admit, even if I don’t understand half the words.
Now they say this Ryan fella is worth a whole heap of money. Seventy million dollars or somethin’ like that. That’s more money than I ever seen in my whole life! He got it from actin’ and doin’ other business, they say. Guess bein’ a handsome fella pays off, huh?
He’s forty-one years old, this Ryan Gosling. That’s young, I guess. But he looks kinda plastic-y in that picture, like he ain’t real. Maybe that’s the point, since he’s playin’ a doll and all. He sure does embody this Ken character, like them fancy folks are sayin’. I saw the picture, and he looks like a doll. A real life doll! It’s kinda creepy, but I can see why the young’uns are all excited.
And that waistband, they made sure to show it off. It says “Ken” right on it, so you don’t forget who he is, I reckon. It’s peekaboo underwear, they call it. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds scandalous! Seems like they’re tryin’ to make this Ken fella out to be some kind of heartthrob.
They’re callin’ this a female-driven movie, whatever that means. Ryan’s the only fella, it seems. And they talkin’ about the denim vest. Frayed sleeves it has, and no shirt underneath. Well, of course he ain’t got no shirt on, that’s what everyone’s talkin’ about! And the vest matches his jeans, like he’s some kind of cowboy or somethin’. A plastic cowboy, maybe.
Anyway, that’s all I got to say about this Ryan Gosling and this Barbie movie. He’s shirtless, he’s a doll, and he’s got a lot of money. Folks seem to like him, and that’s all that matters, I guess. Me, I’d rather watch a good Western, but to each their own, I say.
