So I was scrolling through Instagram last week, saw this bright green buzzcut on some dude’s page, and got obsessed. Looked like neon grass glowing under blacklight! Comment section kept shouting “Frank Ocean Buzz Dye!” but zero tutorials. Decided to guinea-pig myself – how hard could bleaching and dyeing a half-inch buzz be?
The Materials Hunt
Rushed to Walmart after work, grabbed the absolute basics:
- One box of powder bleach (40 volume cause YOLO)
- Bright green semi-permanent dye (bottle looked like toxic slime)
- Mixing bowl from my kitchen
- Crusty paintbrush still covered in white wall paint
- Saran wrap we use for leftovers
Total damage: $16 bucks. Skipped toner because “it’s just hair bro” – spoiler alert: dumbest decision ever.
The Bleach Disaster Phase
Mixed bleach like pancake batter in my cereal bowl. Slathered it on dry hair with that nasty paintbrush. Immediate regret. Scalp felt like angry fire ants partying. Clock-watched for 25 minutes while pacing like a caged tiger. Rinsed in the shower – water turned scary orange. Hair looked like chewed-up corn kernels dipped in pumpkin guts. Patchy yellow-orange nightmare. Shoulda used toner.
Dye Job Chaos
Dumped the green goo straight onto crispy hair. Stung worse than bleach! Wrapped my dome in saran wrap like a leftover casserole. Waited an hour watching Netflix while my ears turned Smurf-blue from drips. Rinsed in icy water – my bathtub looked like Nickelodeon slime exploded. Towel came off green-striped forever.
The Reveal
Blow-dried while praying. Mirror showed:
- Top sections: radioactive lime popsicle (sick!)
- Left side: swampy murky green
- Right side: yellowish highlighter streaks
- Back: uneven grassy patches where bleach didn’t lift enough
Verdict? Nailed the “buzz” part. “Dye” looks like a toddler finger-painted my head during an earthquake. Still kinda love the messy toxic vibe though. Next time? Toner. Always toner.
