Well, well, well, look what we got here. Shortest shorts ever worn, they call ’em. Back in my day, we just called ’em shorts. Ain’t nobody got time for these fancy words. Shorts is shorts. But these days? These young’uns, they wearin’ somethin’ else entirely. Barely coverin’ nothin’, I tell ya!
I seen these shortest shorts ever on the television the other day. Some fancy show. All these girls, prancin’ around, legs all the way up to their…well, you know. My eyes near popped outta my head! And they say “sun out”! But what they really show is way more than “guns”!
They call ’em “micro” now. Micro this, micro that. Back when, we just had shorts. And they was decent! Covered what needed coverin’. These shortest shorts ever worn, though? Honey, they ain’t leavin’ much to the imagination. These young gals, they wearin’ them all over. To the store, to the park, even to church sometimes! I swear, the world’s gone mad.
I saw one girl, all dolled up. Pretty as a picture, but those shorts! Shortest shorts ever, I’m tellin’ ya. Sky blue, they were. Shinin’ like a new dime. She was wearin’ ’em with some fancy shirt. Looked like somethin’ off a movie star. But those shorts! Lord have mercy.
- One girl, she had on black ones. Tiny little things.
- Another one, hers was kinda loose, but still short. Shortest shorts ever worn, practically.
- Then there was this other one, hers was shiny. Gold, maybe? Like a disco ball.
- And one more, looked like a movie star. But still, too short!
And the boys! Don’t even get me started on the boys. They wearin’ these shortest shorts ever worn too now. I saw it on that show, the one with all the fancy clothes. Boys in little bitty shorts, walkin’ around like they own the place. What is this world comin’ to?
They got all these names for ’em now. Hot pants, they call one kind. Like your backside’s on fire, I reckon. Then there’s Daisy somethin’ or other. Sounds like a cow’s name to me. And cut-offs. That’s just what we used to call ’em when we cut up our old jeans. These kids, I don’t know what they were before the cut-off. Still the shortest shorts ever, though.
Now, these young’uns, they say it’s all about being happy with your body. They say it is about “positivity”. Well that is a big word! They say these shortest shorts ever worn make ’em feel good. Like they’re celebratin’ themselves. Well, good for them, I suppose. But in my day, we celebrated with a good pot roast, not by showin’ off our…assets.
Last summer, I guess this is a real trend. They say “jorts” is back. I don’t know what “jorts” are. Maybe jean shorts? But they say it is popular. Some big names, these stars, they are wearing jorts, whatever they are. But they are still very short! Too short! They are shortest shorts ever worn, right?
They say those shortest shorts ever worn are for everybody. Big, small, tall, short. Don’t matter. Just wear what makes ya feel good, they say. Well, I feel good in a nice housedress, thank you very much. And it covers everything that needs coverin’, that’s for sure.
These shortest shorts ever, they somethin’ else. I don’t know if I understand it, but the world’s changin’. These young’uns, they doin’ their own thing. And I guess that’s alright. But me? I’ll stick to my housedress. And maybe a nice pair of slacks, if I’m feelin’ fancy. But you won’t catch me in those shortest shorts ever worn. No sir, not me. Not ever.
I guess times are different. These shortest shorts ever are here to stay, looks like. Maybe I’m just old-fashioned. But I still think there’s somethin’ to be said for a little bit of mystery. These young folks are wearin’ their hearts on their sleeves. And everything else, too, it seems like. Those shortest shorts ever worn are not for me, but hey, if they are happy, then I am too.
Still, when I see these shortest shorts ever worn, I can’t help but shake my head and think back to the good old days. When shorts were shorts, and people left a little somethin’ to the imagination. But I reckon those days are gone. Gone like the wind, as they say. Gone like those shortest shorts ever are about to be if they get any shorter!
I don’t know what else to say about those shortest shorts ever worn. They are everywhere now. Just the other day, I saw a girl wearing them at the grocery store, and I almost dropped my dentures. Just walked right by, like she wasn’t showing off everything. Well, the world changes, I suppose. Just gotta keep up with it, best you can. But you won’t catch this old lady wearing them. No way. No how.
