Getting into Marissa Cohen’s Stuff
Alright, so I kept hearing this name, Marissa Cohen, popping up here and there, mostly related to relationships and how people connect. Sounded interesting, maybe a bit academic, but someone mentioned a practical angle, something about noticing the small things. I figured, why not? Got nothing to lose, might learn something.
So, I decided to actually try one of the core ideas I picked up, which was about recognizing ‘bids’ for connection. Simple stuff, like a comment about the weather or pointing something out. The idea is, these aren’t just random noises; they’re small attempts to connect.
My little experiment went like this:
- First step: Just pay attention. For a whole week, I made a conscious effort to notice every little interaction, especially the seemingly minor ones with my partner and even close friends.
- Second step: Try to see the ‘bid’. When someone said something small, instead of just nodding or ignoring it, I tried to think, ‘Okay, what’s the connection attempt here?’
- Third step: Respond. Even a simple acknowledgment, like “Yeah, I see that” or asking a quick follow-up question. The point wasn’t deep conversation, just acknowledging the bid.
Honestly, the first couple of days felt super awkward. I felt like I was overthinking tiny things. Was I supposed to analyze every “Hmm”? It felt unnatural. I was watching myself watch others, which isn’t exactly smooth.
But then, around day three or four, something clicked. I started noticing patterns. Little sighs I used to ignore, comments about random stuff online – I started seeing them less as noise and more as small flags saying “Hey, I’m here, interact with me for a second.”
The process wasn’t complicated, just needed focus. I didn’t keep a detailed log or anything fancy, just mental notes. Sometimes I’d consciously respond, other times I’d just observe how I usually react (or don’t react).
So, what happened in the end? It wasn’t some massive life change. But I definitely felt I was understanding minor interactions a bit better. Responding positively to small bids, even just with eye contact and a nod, seemed to make conversations flow a little easier later on. It felt like putting tiny deposits in the bank. Didn’t make me rich overnight, but it felt like building a slightly better foundation.
It was a simple practice, really. Just involved listening a bit more closely and not dismissing the small stuff. Worth the week’s effort, I’d say. Made me think about how often we probably miss these little signals.
