So I got obsessed with men’s fashion last month after spilling coffee all over my cheap work blazer during a client meeting. Total nightmare. That’s when I remembered seeing those fancy Viktor Rolf ads everywhere – you know, those sharp suits with model-looking dudes wearing ’em? Decided to gamble a whole paycheck on their navy wool suit.
The Suit Situation
Walked into their boutique sweating bullets ’cause honestly? Never owned anything pricier than H&M suits. Sales guy eyeballed me head to toe and pulled out this single-breasted thing. Changed in their gold-plated fitting room – felt like astronaut gear with all the stitching and padding. Surprise surprise, sleeves hung past my knuckles like I was kid playing dress-up. Their tailor pinned me up like voodoo doll, muttering measurements I didn’t understand. Paid extra to get sleeves shortened and trousers hemmed. Took foreverrrr.
Perfume Chaos
Meanwhile the perfume counter lady shoved like seven testers under my nose. First one smelled like grandma’s church purse – all dusty flowers. Second one? Straight-up turpentine. Third spray was called Spicebomb something. Boom! That hit different – smoky cinnamon kick with vanilla underneath. Kinda like walking past fancy bakery during bonfire night. Grabbed the smallest bottle ’cause holy crap luxury prices hurt.
The Big Combo Test
Picked up altered suit week later. Wore it plain first time – crisp white shirt, black oxfords. Felt powerful til afternoon when armpit stains appeared (stress sweat is real y’all). Next day paired it with Spicebomb. Mistake. Sprayed way too close – choked out entire elevator. Third try was gold: Suit + light gray V-neck sweater underneath + TWO Spicebomb spritzes to the neck (not clothes!!). This combo slayed:
- Smelled expensive but not like walking air freshener
- Sweater hid pit stains like magic
- Got three compliments before lunch (one from scary CEO lady)
Epic Fail Moment
Tried getting fancy wearing the perfume with jeans and blazer later. Big nope. Felt like janitor cosplaying as billionaire. Lesson learned: This scent only works when you’re 90% suited up. Otherwise you’re just sweaty guy wearing cheap jeans with expensive smell.
Final verdict? That suit’s now my lucky charm for pitches. Costs more than my car payment but when clients see that stitching? They lean in closer before I even speak. And that perfume? Found out people actually sniff handshakes. Who knew!
