Alright so you know how I keep saying “if something feels off, it probably is”? Well this whole mess started back in March when I finally admitted my relationship with Chris felt like walking on eggshells 24/7. Constant guilt trips whenever I hung out with friends, him blowing up my phone if I didn’t reply within five minutes… classic stuff that sneaks up on you slowly.
The Dumb Move I Made First
Instead of talking to actual humans about it? I went down the Reddit rabbit hole at 2am. Found this AskPoly sub full of people screaming “JUST GO POLY IT’LL FIX EVERYTHING!” like some magical bandaid. Seriously? When he wouldn’t even let me grab drinks with my sister without sulking?
But desperation makes you stupid. Tried dropping “ethical non-monogamy” hints over pizza last month. Chris straight up laughed in my face. “You’re mine, period.” That icy tone finally woke my dumb ass up.
Where Real Help Actually Lives
Here’s what actually worked when I stopped chasing quick fixes:
- Called the domestic abuse hotline – Not for physical stuff but emotional hell. Volunteer didn’t care if I felt “dramatic,” just asked “Do you feel scared?” Bingo.
- Talked to my dog park crew – Sarah literally stopped scooping poop mid-motion when I mentioned Chris tracking my location. “That’s illegal.” Sometimes you need regular folks to state the obvious.
- Prepaid therapy app – Used cash so Chris couldn’t see bank statements. Therapist nailed it first session: “You’re not fixing him. You’re gathering evidence to leave safely.”
Why This Crap Matters
Seriously though? Why am I oversharing this trainwreck? Because that AskPoly advice made everything ten times worse. Almost fell into the trap of blaming myself for “not communicating enough” while dealing with a literal manipulator.
Proof I’m still standing? This morning I blocked Chris’s number after he tried the “baby I’m changing” text. Know where that shiny spine came from? Not Reddit gurus – Sarah holding my shaking hands at the park yesterday saying “We got you”.
Cheapest survival tip? Trust your stomach. When that knot forms hearing his key in the lock? Get out.
