Alright, let’s jaw about them Bred Jordan shoes, you know, the black and red ones. Folks seem to go hog wild over ‘em, but me? I just see shoes. But hey, if you got ‘em or wanna get ‘em, I reckon I can tell ya a thing or two I heard from the young’uns.
First off, these here Jordan 1 High Patent Bred shoes, they came out, what, December 2021? Some folks hollered it was a big deal, a “return” or somethin’. Sounded like a hen cluckin’ about a lost egg to me, but whatever. They shiny, like a new pot, ‘cause they got that…patent… somethin’ on ‘em. Keeps ‘em from gettin’ all wrinkled up, I s’pose.
Now, if you’re gonna wear these fancy kicks, you gotta look the part, or so they tell me. Don’t go wearin’ ‘em with your workin’ overalls, unless you wanna look like a rooster in a henhouse. They say you gotta wear ‘em with… what was it? … “slim jeans.” Blue, black, gray, even white, if you’re feelin’ frisky. I seen some youngsters wearin’ ‘em with them ripped-up jeans, looks like a dog got ahold of ‘em, but hey, what do I know?
Styling Your Bred Jordans
- Jeans are Key: Like I said, them slim jeans is the way to go. Don’t wear nothin’ baggy, or you’ll look like you’re wearin’ buckets on your feet.
- Colors Matter: Stick to blue, black, gray, or white jeans. Don’t go mixin’ and matchin’ with crazy colors, unless you want folks starin’ at ya like you got two heads.
- Keep ‘em Clean: This is a big one, I hear. You gotta keep them shoes clean, like you’re goin’ to church. Wipe ‘em down if they get dirty, and don’t go stompin’ through mud puddles. There’s this stuff called “leather cleaner” you can use, but don’t ask me, I just use a wet rag on my boots.
- Condition ‘em: After you clean ‘em, you gotta “condition” ‘em, whatever that means. Keeps ‘em from crackin’ and lookin’ like an old dried-up prune, I guess. Just make sure they’re good and dry before you do it.
Now, about them wrinkles. Seems like folks get their feathers all ruffled over wrinkles on their Jordans. I heard tell it’s ‘cause the leather ain’t the best, somethin’ about bein’ coated in plastic. So when you bend your foot, the plastic peels away and you get them creases. Sounds like a whole lotta fuss over nothin’ to me. Shoes are supposed to get worn, ain’t they?
But if you’re one of them worrywarts, I reckon you can try stuffin’ your shoes with somethin’ when you ain’t wearin’ ‘em, to keep ‘em from bendin’. Or maybe just don’t walk so much. Sit on the porch and admire ‘em, I don’t know.
Anyways, I seen these young’uns spendin’ a whole paycheck on these Jordans, and I just shake my head. Back in my day, a pair of shoes lasted you ‘til they fell apart. But times change, I s’pose. If you got the money and you like ‘em, go ahead and get ‘em. Just don’t come cryin’ to me when you get a scuff on ‘em.
And for goodness sake, learn how to tie your shoes properly! I seen some youngsters walking around with their laces all undone, like they just crawled outta bed. It looks sloppy, and you’re liable to trip and break your neck. So, tie them laces tight, and keep them shoes lookin’ spiffy, if that’s what you’re after.
More Tips for Taking Care of Your Bred Jordans:
- Brush off the Dirt: If your shoes get caked in mud, don’t just start scrubbing. Use a soft brush to get the big chunks off first. It’s like sweeping the floor before you mop it.
- Damp Cloth for Other Areas: For parts of the shoe that aren’t leather, use a damp cloth. Don’t go soaking them, just a little dampness will do.
- Let Them Dry Completely: Before you put anything on them after cleaning, let them dry all the way. Don’t rush it, or you’ll end up with a mess.
So there you have it. Everything I know about these Bred Jordan shoes, which ain’t much, but it’s more than I knew yesterday. Just remember, they’re just shoes. Don’t let ‘em rule your life. Wear ‘em, enjoy ‘em, and don’t fret too much about the wrinkles.
And one last thing, don’t go wearin’ ‘em to the barn. You’ll get manure all over ‘em, and then you’ll really have somethin’ to cry about.
