Okay, so I saw those stunning pics of Simone Biles’ wedding shoes all over my feed and thought, “Dang, I need that magic for my cousin’s wedding.” Here’s exactly how I tried (and mostly failed) to copy her style without selling a kidney.
The Obsession Begins
First thing, I googled “Simone Biles wedding shoes” like mad. Scrolled through a million pics – white satin, ankle strap, tiny sparkly heel. Simple but classy. Figured I could find something similar.
My Wallet Cried
Found out her custom $1200 heels. Nearly choked. No way I’m spending that on shoes worn once. Hit up Goodwill first – found dusty grandma pumps. Zero sparkle. Total bust.
Desperate Discount Digging
Ripped through TJ Maxx’s shoe aisle. Saw white satin heels, but chunkier heel than Simone’s. Almost grabbed ’em till I remembered the ankle strap is key. Left empty-handed after an hour.
Went back online. Filtered searches like crazy:
- white satin heels
- thin block heel (1.5 inch max)
- ankle strap
- under $50 (lol)
The Almost-Win
Found $39 lookalikes on some random site! Ordered immediately. Three weeks later, cheap plastic crap arrives. Heel wobbled like drunk penguin. Returned.
Dollar Store Hail Mary
Saw similar-ish plain white heels at Target for $25. Bought ‘em, plus $3 rhinestone stickers and craft glue. Stuck sparkles on the strap sitting on my floor at midnight. Glue soaked through satin making dark splotches. Cat tried eating a rhinestone. Disaster.
Final Frankenstein Pair
Wore them anyway. Strap scratched my ankle raw within 10 minutes. Sparkles rained off like sad confetti near the cake table. Spent half the wedding shoeless under my tablecloth. Lesson learned: you can’t out-cheap greatness. Should’ve just worn sneakers.
