Alright, so I figured I’d share my little adventure the other day. I decided to head over to Victoria’s Secret at The Greene. Yeah, I know, brave man, right? But I had a mission, or so I thought.

So, I drove down to The Greene. Parking wasn’t a total nightmare, which was a good start. Found a spot, got out, and made my way over. The Greene itself is a pretty chill place to walk around, you know? Open air, shops, the usual.
Then I stepped into Victoria’s Secret. Man, oh man. It’s like a different world in there. Pink everywhere. Seriously, every shade of pink you can imagine. And the smell! Perfume, lotions, sprays – it hits you like a wave. A very fragrant wave.
I was looking for a specific thing, a gift, you see. Saw it online, thought it’d be easy to just pop in and grab it. Simple, right? Wrong. So wrong.
First, I had to actually find someone to help. The place was buzzing, not crazy crowded with people, but the staff seemed to be zipping around. Finally, I managed to catch someone’s eye. Politely asked about the item I was after. Showed her a picture on my phone, even.
She looked at it, squinted a bit, then said, “Hmm, let me check in the back.” And off she went. So, there I am, just kind of standing there. Feeling a little out of place, if I’m being honest. Surrounded by all sorts of, uh, delicate items.

Waited for what felt like a solid ten minutes. Maybe it was five, but it felt longer. She finally comes back. And guess what? “So sorry, we don’t seem to have that one in stock right now. Did you check online?”
Of course, I checked online! That’s where I saw it! The whole point of coming to the store was to, you know, buy it in the store. Maybe get it a bit quicker, see it in person.
Then came the upsell. “But we have these other really lovely sets, or maybe a nice robe?” I appreciate the effort, I really do, but my heart was set on the other thing. Or, more accurately, my wife’s potential heart was set on it.
I mumbled something like, “Oh, okay, thanks anyway,” and tried to make a graceful exit from that conversation. Decided to just wander around for a few more minutes, just so it didn’t look like I bothered her for nothing. The sheer amount of stuff is kind of overwhelming. So many tiny little things.
And the sizing is a whole different language. I thought I knew S, M, L. Nope. There’s numbers, letters, combinations. It’s like a secret code. I wasn’t about to try and crack that on my own.

Ended up walking out with nothing. Nada. Zilch. Felt like a total waste of a trip, to be honest. Drove all the way to The Greene, navigated the pink palace, and came away empty-handed. A bit frustrating, you know?
So yeah, that was my Victoria’s Secret experience at The Greene. Next time? I’m just clicking “add to cart” online. Way less confusing, and no perfume fog to wade through. Lesson learned, I guess.