So a bunch of folks been askin’ bout what happened after Ellie filed that mental health lawsuit against us. Well, heads rolled – started with the CEO callin’ an emergency meeting last Tuesday mornin’. We all knew this was bad news bears when HR started runnin’ around lookin’ like scared chickens.
The Mess We Found
First thing we did? Pulled every single complaint filed in the past five years. Grabbed pizza, locked ourselves in Conference Room B, an’ just read. Damn near choked on pepperoni when we saw how many “stress leave” requests got denied with just checkbox responses. One guy even had his panic attack documented as “mild discomfort” in the system. Unbelievable.
The Fixer Squad
Boss put together this ragtag team – me from operations, Sarah from legal, Dave the therapist dude we contract with, plus three random junior staffers. Didn’t let any senior managers near it. Smart move if ya ask me. First rule we made? No corporate jargon allowed. Took Dave slappin’ a dollar in the jar every time someone said “synergy” before we started talkin’ straight.
Here’s what we hammered out:
- Burned the old policy docs – literally had a shreddin’ party Tuesday night. Felt good man.
- Hired five actual counselors – not just more damn chatbots like marketing wanted
- Changed the damn lights – turns out our “energy efficient” bulbs made people feel like lab rats
- Killed the after-hours Slack policy – now if you message past 6pm, it auto-deletes until mornin’
The Awkward Part
Most painful bit was Ellie comin’ in Thursday to tell her story straight to the board. Our fancy-pants chairman actually teared up when she described cryin’ in the bathroom stall for 20 minutes before team standups. That’s when old Mike from finance stood up an’ shouted “WE SUCK AT THIS!” – broke the tension real good.
Funniest thing? The lawyers hated our “stupid simple” language in the new wellness plan. We made ’em rewrite the legalize seven times til a 10-year-old could understand it. Put pictures of frowny faces next to the burnout symptoms list and everything.
Where We At Now
It ain’t perfect yet but dang it’s better. Saw Ellie high-fivin’ Dave the counselor yesterday in the break room – wouldn’t have happened three months back. Still catch myself flinchin’ when my phone buzzes at night, but then remember nobody expects replies till breakfast. Baby steps people. Baby steps.
