Alright so here’s what happened with that Cartier hat thing. People been buzzing about fancy hats as investments lately, so I figured I’d jump in headfirst. See if this cloche de Cartier nonsense was actually worth real cash or just hype.
How It Started
Fell down a rabbit hole online. Instagram, forums, auction house sites – whole lotta noise about Cartier hats suddenly being rare treasures. “Limited quantities” this, “heritage piece” that. Saw some folks claiming these silly hats were selling for more than retail secondhand. My brain goes, “Seriously? A HAT?” But hey, gotta test the theory.
Getting My Hands On One
Took some doing. Called Cartier boutiques – felt like a total idiot asking about hats. Lady on the phone probably rolled her eyes into next week. Ended up on a damn waitlist, paid way more upfront than anyone should for something to put on your head. Seriously, close to $3,000 bucks. For felt!
What came next was ridiculous:
- Waited like three months because apparently they stitch these things by magical elves.
- Got this huge, heavy box delivered. Felt like receiving crown jewels.
- Opened it up… and there it was. Weird little grey thing. Fancy box, fancy dust bag, certificate. Whole song and dance.
Trying To Flip The Damn Thing
Okay, ownership confirmed. Time for the “investment” part. Stuck that pristine hat right back in its packaging. Tried selling it online immediately. Here’s how that clusterfuck went down:
- Major Consignment Sites: Contacted a few. They were polite but clearly thought I was nuts. Offered terms that meant I’d barely break even IF it sold at my asking price.
- Forums: Posted about it. Got a mix of “Cool hat!” and “Who the hell pays this much for a hat?”
- Private Groups: DMs flooded with lowball offers. “I’ll give you $1200 cash, final offer.” Buddy, that’s less than half.
- Resale Platforms: Listed it high. Sat there gathering digital dust. Zero offers. Watched other similar listings drop their prices weekly.
Couldn’t find a single real person willing to pay MORE than retail immediately. Kept seeing the same hat listed by the same sellers on multiple platforms for over a year.
The Ugly Reality
So I got stuck with a very expensive, very weird grey hat. This whole “investment” thing?
- Unless you get some crazy rare, old piece Cartier barely makes anymore? Forget instant profit.
- The market is tiny. Like, microscopic. Only desperate label-chasers or truly bored collectors even look.
- Auction houses barely acknowledge it exists unless it’s vintage jewelry.
You might eventually sell it years later if some mug decides it’s “vintage Cartier” and the stars align. But for most folks? That cash is just gone. Sits in a fancy box in your closet. Feels like a fucking scam.
Why do I sound so bitter? Because I shelled out big hoping for a quick flip based on online hype. Lesson learned the hard way. Luxury brands sell dreams, not smart investments. My hat’s now a very pricey paperweight reminding me: Don’t believe the hype.
