Alright so here’s what went down. I saw all these Oreo Melos flavors trending online and got curious. Which one’s actually good? Gotta find out for myself, right? Grabbed my keys and headed straight to Walmart. Stormed the snack aisle like a man on a mission.
The Haul & First Mistake
Scooped up every single Oreo Melos I could find. Original, Strawberry, Green Tea, Chocolate… even that weird Purple Yam one. Spent like $25. Felt kinda stupid holding that rainbow stack at checkout, but whatever. Science requires sacrifice.
Got home, dumped ’em all on the kitchen counter. Opened my notebook – yeah, I’m that guy – and lined up five clean glasses. Poured milk into each one. Realized I needed spoons. Grabbed five spoons. This was already getting messy.
Let the Crumbling Begin
Started with Original Oreo Melos. Ripped the package open. Smelled… fine. Like sweet milk powder. Poured it into the first glass. Didn’t mix smooth. Clumpy bits everywhere. Took a sip. Tasted like watered-down Oreo crumbs. Not terrible. Not great. Just… there. Wrote “MEH” in the notebook.
Moved to Strawberry. Pink powder everywhere. Mixed it up. Looked like Pepto-Bismol. One sip. Artificial candy sweetness punched me in the throat. Waaaay too sugary. Couldn’t even finish the glass. Scribbled “TOO MUCH. LIKE KID’S MEDICINE.”
Things Got Weirder
Green Tea version smelled kinda nice. Earthy. Mixed it. Looked like dirty pond water. Tasted… off. Bitter at first, then weirdly sweet. Like someone dumped sugar in cheap tea. Nope. My notebook says: “NO. JUST NO.”
Got hopeful with Chocolate. Figured chocolate Oreos? Safe bet. Powder looked okay. Mixed it. Lumps. So many lumps. Stirred harder. Tasted it. Weak chocolate flavor. Like cheap hot cocoa but colder and sadder. Note: “BORING. WATER CHOCOLATE.”
Saved the Purple Yam for last. Felt nervous. Opened it. Smelled sweet, kinda starchy. Powder was violently purple. Mixed into milk. Looked like alien smoothie. Took a brave sip. Tasted… like sweet potato pie filling mixed with disappointment. Not horrible, just confusing. Wrote: “WEIRD BUT KINDA OKAY? MAYBE?”
The Great Kitchen Cleanup
Counter looked like a bomb went off. Spilled powder everywhere. Sticky spoons. Glasses half-full of regret. I tried mixing the leftovers together in one huge glass – thought maybe magic would happen. Nope. Tasted like sadness and sugar crash. Spilled purple yam sludge on my shirt. Of course.
What I Learned (The Hard Way):
- Original: Forgettable.
- Strawberry: Forced sweetness overload.
- Green Tea: Bitter-sweet disaster.
- Chocolate: Needs a chocolate punch.
- Purple Yam: Oddly the best? Still mediocre.
Honestly? None are worth it. Just crush real Oreos into cold milk. Tastes better, less clumpy, and cheaper. My stomach feels heavy now. Gotta throw these glasses away – purple stains won’t come off. Lesson learned? Sometimes trending snacks belong in the trash, not your cart. Back to regular Oreos tomorrow. Might even dunk ’em like a caveman.
