Alright, let’s gab about this Melanie Martinez perfume, the one they call Portals. I heard some young’uns talking ’bout it, so I figured I’d poke around and see what the fuss is all about.
Now, first things first, this ain’t your grandma’s rosewater, that’s for sure. These perfumes, they got names like “Water of Intuition,” “Air of Clarity,” “Fiery Passion,” and “Earthy Abundance.” Sounds fancy, don’t it? Like somethin’ a witch doctor would cook up. Makes me think of them herbs I used to grow in the garden, but way more…smelly, I guess.
What’s in these bottles, anyway?
Well, from what I gathered, this whole Portals perfume thing is tied to some singer gal named Melanie Martinez. She’s got an album out, also called Portals, and these perfumes are supposed to smell like…well, like the album, I reckon. Don’t ask me how music can have a smell, that’s beyond my paygrade. But these young folks, they eat it up.
- Water of Intuition: This one, they say it’s all about being calm and peaceful. Like a quiet stream, I guess. Probably smells like them fancy bath soaps the city folks use.
- Air of Clarity: This one’s supposed to make you think straight, clear your head. Maybe it smells like pine needles or somethin’. Good for when you got too much gossip swirling around in your brain.
- Fiery Passion: Now, this one sounds like trouble! They say it’s spicy and warm. Probably smells like cinnamon and cloves, like that apple pie I used to bake. But with a kick, you know?
- Earthy Abundance: This one’s all about feeling grounded and connected to the earth. Probably smells like dirt and leaves, like after a good rain. Reminds me of planting season.
Are they worth the fuss (and the money)?
Now, here’s the kicker. These perfumes, they ain’t cheap. I heard some folks sayin’ they cost a pretty penny. And that’s where I start scratchin’ my head. Back in my day, a little dab of lavender was all you needed. But these young’uns, they like their fancy smells in fancy bottles.
I also hear tell that they got candles too, and even some bags with pictures on ’em. Seems like they’re trying to sell you the whole shebang. If you got money to burn, I guess it’s alright. But if you’re like me, and you gotta stretch a dollar, well, maybe you can just stick to smellin’ the flowers outside.
Melanie Martinez perfume, portals, scents, fragrance, review – that’s what the youngsters are searching for, I hear. They want to know if this stuff is the real deal. And from what I can tell, it’s all a matter of taste. Some folks love it, some folks think it’s a waste of money. Just like them fancy coffees they sell now, with all them different flavors. Who needs a pumpkin spice latte when you got good old-fashioned black coffee?
So, what’s the final word?
Well, I ain’t gonna tell you what to do with your money. If you like the smell of these perfumes, and you can afford ’em, then go ahead and buy ’em. But don’t go breakin’ the bank just to smell like a “Water of Intuition” or a “Fiery Passion.” There’s more important things in life than smellin’ fancy.
Remember, a good heart and a kind word, that’s what really matters. And maybe a little bit of lavender, just for good measure. But if you’re set on trying this Melanie Martinez perfume, maybe start with those little sample vials they sell. That way you can see if you like it before you spend a whole lot of money on a big bottle. And if you don’t like it, well, you can always give it to one of your nieces or granddaughters. They’ll probably appreciate it more than an old lady like me. They’re always looking for the next best thing, these youngsters. Always chasing after something new and shiny. Makes you wonder what they’ll come up with next. Maybe a perfume that smells like the internet? Wouldn’t surprise me one bit.
Anyways, that’s my two cents on this whole Melanie Martinez perfume portals hullabaloo. Take it or leave it. I’m gonna go make myself a cup of tea. And maybe put a little lavender on my wrists. Just because.
And before I forget, you can pre order it on that portalsparfums website they have, if you’re interested. They even have little sample sizes if you don’t want to spend a lot of money. Just don’t go spending your rent money on it, you hear?
