That Jackie Perfume idea popped into my head last Tuesday while reorganizing my spice rack. Found some leftover vanilla beans from last Christmas and thought, why not try making something wearable? Grabbed my notebook right there in the kitchen chaos.
First Attempt Disaster
Scooped up rumpled vanilla pods, dried rosemary sprigs, and cheap vodka. Tossed everything in a mason jar like making pickles. Shook it hard for two minutes – vodka sloshed everywhere. Covered the counter and my cat’s fur. Waited three days sniffing it hourly like a weirdo.
Smelled like trash: Pure floor cleaner mixed with wet dog.
Failure reasons:
- Should’ve chopped vanilla, not tossed whole pods
- Cheap vodka = nail polish remover fumes
- Rosemary turned slimy
Redemption Phase
Dumped that swamp juice down the sink. Went hunting in the yard for lavender. Found three barely-alive bushes under aphid invasion. Washed leaves five times till water ran clear. Picked petals like a lunatic for thirty minutes.
Changed strategy:
- Used decent tequila instead of vodka
- Steeped lavender separately from vanilla
- Added tiny bit of boiled coffee grounds
Mixed batches in shot glasses like a mad scientist. Tested combinations by dabbing wrists every hour. Partner complained I smelled like a taco stand mixed with grandma’s perfume.
The Breakthrough
Remembered the bergamot tea bags stashed in the back of my pantry. Steeped two bags in the tequila-lavender mix overnight. Next morning, added literally three drops of cheap vanilla extract. Shook that jar sideways for two songs straight.
Actual wearable perfume! Not department-store fancy, but kinda pleasant. Got “you smell like Earl Grey cookies” from neighbor. Cat didn’t sprint away either. Called it Jackie because grandma’s name was Jackie and she used to grow lavender. Best compliment? “Doesn’t smell like chemicals.” High five moment.
