That Hugo Boss, you know, the one they call Boss Number One. My old man, he got a bottle once. Smelled real strong, like them fancy city folks. Said it was for important men, not like us regular folk. He only wore it to church on Sundays. Made him feel like a big shot, I reckon.
I remember that bottle, all shiny and fancy-looking. Not like the stuff we used to use. Just plain soap and water for us! But this Boss Number One, that was different. They say it came out in ’85. That’s, that’s a long time ago! Long time before that young’un Elon Musk was playin’ with rockets. Back when folks still listened to them cassette tapes. My son, bless his heart, he said it’s what they call an “aromatic” smell.
Now, I ain’t no expert on these things, but I can tell you what I smelled. It was like… like a whole bunch of things mixed together. You know how them fancy stores smell? Kind of like that, but stronger. They say it’s got some green stuff in it. I reckon it’s like them herbs my neighbor grows. She’s got all kinds of things in her garden. Rosemary, mint, all that stuff. Maybe that’s what they put in this Hugo Boss stuff.
They use a lot of fancy words for it. “Artemisia,” they say. Sounds like some kinda flower. And “juniper.” That’s like them berries, right? And then there’s “bergamot.” Don’t ask me what that is. Sounds foreign. And “lemon” and “green apple.” Well, I know what those are! We used to have an apple tree in the backyard.
- Artemisia
- Juniper
- Bergamot
- Lemon
- Green Apple
And they say there’s some “caraway” and “basil” and “grapefruit” in there too. Lordy, that’s a lot of stuff! It’s like they just threw everything in the pot and stirred it up. This Boss Number One sure is complicated. Not like a simple apple pie, that’s for sure.
Then they got this other stuff they say is in the middle. “Honey,” “lavender,” “rose.” Okay, I know those. We used to have bees, made our own honey. And my mama used to grow lavender in her garden. Smelled real nice. And roses, well, everyone knows roses. My old man used to get them for me sometimes on special occasions. Like when the price of corn went up.
But then it gets all fancy again. “Sage,” “jasmine,” “geranium.” I ain’t never heard of those. Must be some city flowers. And “lily-of-the-valley.” That sounds like something out of a storybook. And “orris root.” What in the world is an orris root? Sounds like something you’d find in the woods.
And the bottom of it, they say it’s got “tobacco,” “oakmoss,” “patchouli.” Now, tobacco, I know. My old man used to chew it. Nasty habit, but he liked it. This Hugo Boss Number One, I reckon it smells a bit like that, but fancier. Oakmoss, that’s probably like what grows on them old trees in the forest. And patchouli, I heard that’s some kind of oil.
Then there is “sandalwood,” “musk,” “amber.” I don’t know about those. They just sound expensive. And “cinnamon” and “cedar.” Cinnamon, that’s like what you put in apple pie. And cedar, that’s like the wood, right?
- Tobacco
- Oakmoss
- Patchouli
- Sandalwood
- Musk
- Amber
So, you see, this Boss Number One, it’s a whole mix of things. It’s like they took a little bit of everything and put it in that bottle. It’s strong, that’s for sure. And it lasts a long time. My old man, he’d put it on in the morning, and I could still smell it on him when he came in from the fields at night. It smells like a man who works hard, but also a man who wants to smell good. Like he’s got something to prove.
They got another one now, they call it “The Scent”. Says it’s for, uh, “seduction.” Whatever that means. Got some “ginger” in it, they say. And “Maninka.” I don’t even know what that is! This Hugo Boss, they sure like their strange ingredients. And “leather.” Well, I know what leather smells like. My old man’s boots were made of leather. Smelled like a horse barn after a rain, if you know what I mean.
But this Boss Number One, that’s the one I remember. That’s the one that made my old man feel like a king, even if he was just a regular guy. It is a man’s smell. A strong smell. A smell that says, “I’m here, and I mean business.” I guess that’s why they call it Boss Number One. They say it is for men who want to feel important. Like they’re the boss, you know? Even if they ain’t. Like my old man. He wasn’t no boss, but he sure did smell like one when he wore that stuff.
So that’s Hugo Boss Number One. A whole lot of fancy smells all mixed up in one bottle. Makes a man smell strong and important. If you’re into that kind of thing. Some folks are, some folks aren’t. But, if you want to smell like the boss, well this stuff might be for you, I guess. They do have a lot of other smells. But this is one of the old ones. A classic they call it. Like an old pair of boots. Worn in, but still good. You know what I mean?
