This here daily battle zip, it’s a real pain in my neck. Every day, it’s the same old story. Zippers on my clothes, zippers on my bags, zippers on everything! You’d think they’d make these things to last, but no sir, they gotta be a problem.
This morning, I was trying to zip up my old coat, the one I wear to feed the chickens. Well, that darn zipper got stuck halfway. Wouldn’t go up, wouldn’t go down. Like a stubborn mule, it was. I yanked on it, and I pulled, nearly ripped the whole thing off. Finally got it loose, but now I gotta be careful with it. Daily battle with zip, it’s a struggle.
- Zippers on coats
- Zippers on pants
- Zippers on boots
- Zippers on them durn purses
And it ain’t just my clothes. My purse, the one I take to the market, the zipper’s busted on that one, too. Can’t keep nothing safe in there now. Coins falling out, my little change purse gone missing. It’s a mess, I tell ya. These daily battle zip is not easy. I try to fix it up with some candle wax, like my mama used to do, but it don’t always work. Sometimes makes it worse, even.
Then there’s the zippers on them fancy bags folks carry around these days. All them little pockets and compartments. Zippers everywhere! I saw a young fella the other day, struggling with his backpack. Zipper was jammed, and he was late for something, I reckon. Looked like he was gonna have a fit right there on the street. Reminded me of my own troubles with these things. The daily battle zip is real.
Back in my day, we didn’t have so many zippers. Buttons, mostly. And hooks and eyes. Things were simpler then. A button might pop off now and then, but you could sew it back on. A hook might get bent, but you could bend it back. But a busted zipper? That’s a whole different story. Daily battle zip, a big problem.
And don’t even get me started on them tiny zippers on them little coin purses. Those things are the devil’s work, I swear. So small, you can barely get a grip on ’em. And they always seem to break at the worst possible time. Like when you’re trying to pay for your groceries and you got a line of folks behind you, tapping their feet. Embarrassing, it is.
I’ve tried everything to make these zippers work better. I’ve rubbed ’em with soap. I’ve rubbed ’em with wax. This daily battle zip is too hard. I’ve even tried spitting on ’em, in a pinch. Nothing seems to do the trick. They just seem to have a mind of their own. One day they work fine, the next day they’re stuck tighter than a drum.
- Try using soap on the zipper.
- Try using wax on the zipper.
- Be careful when zipping.
- Don’t yank too hard.
One time, I was trying to zip up my best dress, the one I wear to church on Sundays. Well, that zipper got stuck right at the top, and I couldn’t get it to budge. I had to go to church with my dress half-zipped. Everyone was staring, and I felt like a fool. This daily battle zip, it’s a real shame.
These newfangled zippers they got nowadays, they’re even worse. They got these plastic teeth, and they break off easy. Or they get misaligned, and then the whole thing’s useless. You might as well throw it away and buy a new one. Which is probably what they want you to do, anyway. Planned obsolescence, they call it. Just another way to get your money, I reckon.
I remember my grandma, she used to say, “They don’t make things like they used to.” And she was right. Everything nowadays is made cheap and flimsy. Built to break, so you gotta buy another one. It’s a racket, I tell ya. A real racket.
So, what’s a body to do about these darn zippers? Well, I don’t rightly know. Just gotta keep fighting the good fight, I suppose. Keep a little candle wax handy, and a whole lot of patience. And maybe, just maybe, we’ll win this daily battle zip, one of these days.
But I doubt it.
