So yesterday, my buddy Marco asked if I could fix his messy lockdown haircut to look more like those sharp European styles. Figured I’d document the whole process since barbering’s been my pandemic hobby for two years now. Grabbed my toolbox and set up shop in the garage with two mirrors – one facing us, one behind his head.
The Tools Rundown
- My trusty Wahl clippers (nearly dropped these in the sink last month, thank god they survived)
- Three guard sizes: #1, #2, and that half-size guard that always gets stuck
- Thinning shears for texture
- Regular scissors with the red handles
- Spray bottle (filled halfway cause I’m cheap)
The Step-by-Step Struggle
Started with completely dry hair – big mistake right there. Should’ve sprayed it down first like the YouTube barbers do. Took the #2 guard and went up the back of his head sideways, holding the clippers perpendicular. Noticed the hair clogging the blades after ten seconds, had to stop and blow the hairs out.
When hitting the crown area, realized I forgot the golden rule: go against the grain. Flipped the clippers upside down to catch those stubborn cowlicks. Dropped the half-guard twice while switching angles near his ears. That metallic clang still rings in my ears!
For the top section, grabbed scissors instead. Sectioned hair with comb teeth while twisting chunks between fingers. Cut into the twists messily at first – left one chunk way shorter than others. Panicked and used thinning shears to blend the disaster spot. Got some satisfying “snik snik” sounds going but pulled hair twice (sorry Marco!).
The Finishing Fumbles
Tried that fancy neckline trick with two fingers pressed behind his ear. Slipped and left a lopsided dip on the left side. Covered it with a sneaky fade adjustment. Used clippers without guard for edges but pressed too hard – left sharp lines like railroad tracks. Softened them by running the clipper sideways without turning it on.
Applied way too much matte paste after spraying water mist everywhere. Ended up with crispy texture instead of soft separation. Marco looked like he’d fought with a hair gel volcano.
The Final Look
After twenty failed attempts at taking selfies with greasy fingers, we got the mirror comparison shots. Honestly? Back and sides looked cleaner than a fresh phone screen, but that top section needs serious work. Still got that wannabe-David-Beckham vibe though, just slightly more “homemade”. My next-door neighbor even asked Marco where he got it cut!
Biggest lesson? Never rush the scissor work. And always have spare guards ready when they inevitably jam. Time to deep-clean those clippers before they cough hair dust all over my workbench.