Alright so today I wanna share something super personal. Me and my girl get stares. Like a lot. And questions. Annoying ones. “Where are you really from?” “How’d you two meet?” It used to drive me nuts. Felt like a circus act just walking down the street holding her hand, you know? So yeah, decided I needed a better way to handle this crap without losing my cool. Here’s how it went down.
The Breaking Point
Started last month. We were grabbing ice cream, just chillin’. This lady walks by, stops dead, stares hard. Like, really examining us. Then she just shakes her head like she’s disappointed and walks off. My girl tensed up immediately. I felt that anger bubble up, ready to snap. But I didn’t wanna ruin our date. That night, lying awake, I knew something had to change. Couldn’t keep letting random people mess with our vibe like that.
My Plan to Stop Being So Triggered
First step? Talked to my girl. Straight up asked her: “What bugs you more, the stares or the dumb questions?” She said the stares feel like an invasion, like we’re not even people. The questions are just ignorant. That hit different. Realized I needed to separate the two things in my head.
Decided to try practicing reactions. Like actually standing in front of the mirror. Sounds silly? Maybe. But honestly, I needed to see my own face when I got annoyed. It wasn’t pretty. Looked pissed off and closed off. Exactly what I didn’t want.
- Staring Strategy: Started practicing a simple “unbothered” face. Neutral expression. Relaxed shoulders. Just keep breathing normal, keep walking. Do not engage. Harder than it sounds when someone’s eyeballing you like you’re an exhibit.
- Questions Strategy: This was trickier. Needed quick answers that shut it down without being rude. Went with super boring, short replies. “We met at work.” “We live here.” No details. No opening for follow-up. Dead end. The key? Say it with zero emotion. Flat voice. Monotone.
Testing It Out For Real
Next grocery run, bam. Older guy in the cereal aisle. Looks right at us, gives that slow up-and-down look. Felt the familiar heat on my neck. Deep breath. Remembered the practice. Kept my face neutral. Didn’t speed up, didn’t slow down. Just grabbed my cornflakes like it was nothing. Kept talking to my girl about dinner plans. His stare lost its power cause I pretended not to see it. Felt like a tiny victory.
Later that week, queueing at the coffee shop. Guy behind us leans in. “Hey, man. Genuine question – how do your families feel about… you know?” Here it was. The dumb question. Took half a second. Turned slightly. Flat voice. “They’re cool with it.” Looked back forward at the menu. Silence. Felt him hovering for a second, then he just mumbled “Oh, okay.” He shuffled back. Didn’t try again.
What Actually Works (So Far)
It ain’t perfect. Still get annoyed sometimes. But these two things helped WAY more than I thought they would:
- For Stares: Look through them, not at them. Neutral face is armour. Pretend they’re invisible.
- For Questions: Minimal answers + neutral tone = conversational dead end. Don’t give them anything to work with. Shuts it down fast.
- Most important: Talking to my girl honestly about it. Made us a team against the stupidity.
Just a heads up – you gotta be on the same page. My girl knows the plan now. When someone tries to get all up in our business with a dumb question, we both just answer super basic and flat. Then go right back to our conversation like nothing happened. Takes the awkward power away from them and puts it back with us. Feels way better than walking around tense all the time waiting for the next idiot to say something ignorant.
