Man, LA’s got its vibe but let’s be real – things can flip fast. I found myself walking back from a late taco run near my Airbnb when two dudes appeared outta nowhere blocking the sidewalk. Hoodies up, hands in pockets. My guts screamed “robbery” before they even spoke. Brain went blank at first, but those safety steps I’d researched kicked in hard:
Step 1: Drop Everything Immediately
Seriously, zero hesitation. One guy growled “Gimme your shit!” and I just flung my taco bag AND phone sideways onto the pavement like it was burning hot. Watched my guacamole splatter everywhere. Keeping hands visible, palms open. Heart pounding like a drum but I made sure they saw empty hands first.
Step 2: Back Away Slow-Mo Style
Didn’t turn around – just shuffled backwards real slow, putting maybe 10 feet between us. Stumbled over some damn sidewalk crack but stayed upright. Kept saying “Take it, it’s cool” in this shaky voice while scanning for any sudden moves. Saw one guy snatch my busted phone already.
Step 3: Memorize Details Like CSI
Right palm tattoo on taller dude – skull with wings, kinda faded. Bottom of jacket – dirty white Adidas stripes. Their rusted Honda parked half a block down, license plate startin’ with “5XJ”. Forced my eyes off their faces (didn’t wanna trigger ’em) but burned those deets into my brain between shaky breaths.
Step 4: Shout When Safe Distance Hits
Backed around a corner building, waited 3 seconds till I heard their car engine roar. Then I YELLED “HELP! ROBBERY!” like my life depended on it – voice cracked like a teenager. Banged on some random apartment door screaming “Call 911!” Saw curtains twitch upstairs.
Step 5: Flag Down First Cop Car
Sprinted toward main road shaking. Spotted a black-and-white at a red light, ran straight at it waving arms wild. Cop window rolled down slow. Gasped out the Honda details and didn’t touch nothing – hands stayed glued to my head while pointing directions. Let them radio it in while I sat crumpled on the curb.
Whole thing lasted maybe 90 seconds. Cops found my smashed phone by the taco wrappers later. Didn’t get my cash back but walked away with all bones intact. Crazy how autopilot takes over when you’ve drilled those steps enough. Still skip that block after dark though – no more midnight tacos for this guy.
