Okay guys, so yesterday I saw Ella Purnell’s killer new short haircut everywhere and straight up needed it. Grabbed my ratty towel, cheap Walmart mirror, and got ready to butcher my own hair in the bathroom. Let’s get into it.
Stuff I Used
- My ancient clippers (last charged before quarantine probably)
- Kitchen scissors (don’t judge)
- Hair ties
- Moms old makeup comb
Step by Step Disaster Zone
First I dunked my head under the sink faucet like a raccoon washing trash. Towel-dried it just enough so it wasn’t dripping everywhere. Sectioned the top half with hair ties because no way was I trying to layer wet hair freehand.
Grabbed those clippers praying they had juice. Went for a number 4 guard on the sides and back. Did a few passes like I’d seen on YouTube shorts. Felt like mowing a patchy lawn – weirdly satisfying until I saw the bald spots behind my left ear.
Panic moment: Accidentally took a chunk out near my neckline when the guard popped off. Just rolled with it and pretended it was “texturizing”.
Next I snipped the top section with kitchen scissors over my fingers like a true amateur. Aimed for that choppy, piecey look Ella has. Ended up with uneven hunks that looked like a toddler went at me with safety scissors. Tried point cutting the ends – poked myself in the forehead twice.
Salvage Operation
Took off the hair ties. Compared both sides in the foggy mirror – left side was definitely two inches shorter. Fixed it by hacking off more right side until they sorta matched. No ragrets.
Grabbed moms rusty thinning shears from the 90s. Feathered the ends to hide my butcher job. Little bits of hair flew everywhere like sad confetti.
End Result?
It’s… not Ella Purnell. But it’s short! Got that accidental undercut vibe on one side, kinda edgy in bad lighting. Tousled it with my fingers and product so the layers don’t look like a staircase. Honestly? With a trucker hat or bandana it’s kinda punk rock disaster chic. Passable if you squint.
Total win? Didn’t cut an ear off. Plus my hair grows fast. Might try again next week when my clippers charge fully… maybe.
